Devil In A New Dress

Feeling lonely is one of the worst feelings in the world. Being alone doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely, but when you're alone and lonely, you can get sucked in to the deepest hole of despair. I've felt like a loner most of my life even when I was surrounded by my family and friends but I never realized how much my loved ones helped put a band aid on those feelings. Loneliness is one of the major accelerators of depression. It's not the loneliness itself that causes the depression, but usually there's a trigger and some type of external factor that pushes you in to a downward spiral where you feel so low, you don't think you'll ever make it out alive.   I'm sure everyone has uttered the phrase "I feel depressed" at one point or another. It's usually an exaggeration of their feelings and they are trying to make a point to people that they are feeling down.   "Things will get better." "It could be wo...

People think Kurt was crazy for killing himself. I don't think he was crazy as much as he was aware of all of the things going on around him that some people are ignorant to. Not like it's a bad thing, but it can definitely make you crazy. Makes you question life. When you really think about all of the bad stuff that happens in the world and how evil corporations can be because of their self serving interests.   Most of the people in this world are just working to support the top 1%. Our water is poisoned. Our food is filled with disease causing ingredients. Our planet is dying and we are killing it. There are violent protests because the government is trying to create the new world order and take away our rights. We are slaves to the dollar. And we are American so we are naïve to it all happening. They say ignorance is bliss and it is. That's why some people go crazy with their own thoughts and and feelings of anguish. Kurt wasn't crazy. He was a genius. He wa...

Just for a second Let the light shine in What was once a dark room   Existence   Slowly The room grew brighter each day Until the dark clouds emerged Back with the seasons changing The light that entered Now dark again Flicker of ray, now just a glimmer   Rooms dark again Curtains drawn Suppose to be temporary But the horizon never seems to end

Our lives, Filled with meaningless distractions Glaring phones , Prompting individualistic actions   Can't tell you all the candidates R unning for the Oval Office, But I know what hair color Kylie Jenner is rockin'   Media is the silent drug Hollowing our souls Burning our brains And all for what?   Ignoring the world To be consumed by technology Our intentions shallow By our new global philosophy   Perceptions Being passed off as reality Actuality Being distracted by vanity   Minds numb What's really going on? We are turning away our experiences Giving it up for a life we put on  

Alone in a crowded room Laughs, screams, music, chatter The silence is deafening The louder it gets   Sips of whiskey Scent lingers from my lips I say hi to a stranger Don't remember how I know him   His name,yes,  H is face, yes But what is it to know someone? And do they really know if I exist ?   Clouds of mint smoke Mixed with the stench of cigarettes The sound of bubbles Blowing out sin   Inhale, remember Exhale, forget Close my eyes Pretend to be alone   In a crowded room Surrounded by strangers Whose only names are known But not motives and character   Alone

A little over a month ago, I realized that I was concerned more with other people's lives than my own. It wasn't blatantly obvious, but wasting time on social media got in my head in ways that I didn't even realize. It's not that looking at my feed made me unhappy, but I was angry at myself for all the time I was wasting. I picked up my phone and the next thing I knew, an hour went by and I hadn't done anything productive with my life. I started to really think about the effect it was having on my mental health scrolling through feeds all day and, without even thinking, comparing my routine moments with other people's highlight reels. I realized that instead of working on myself, I was wasting time concerned with what others were doing. I decided to go on a social media diet. No Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or Twitter. I told myself I would take notes of how I felt each day but after a couple days, I stopped doing that. The notes I did happen to jot down we...

"Selfless: Concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own " They use phrases like "mamas boy" but I am the definition of what it means to be a "mamas girl." My weekends as a kid were spent waking up Saturday morning, watching "Saved by the Bell: The College Years" and then going shopping with my mom. After that, we would come home, she would cook, and I would go play outside with my friends until it was time to eat. So it's no surprise back to school shopping was one of my favorite times of year. Getting to pick out a different wardrobe for each day of the week and buying school supplies. The joys were much simpler since we didn't have iPads or cell phones back then. Of all the times I spent shopping with my mom when I was a kid, I'll never forget going back to school shopping when I was 12. I was in junior high starting 7th grade which was a horribly awkward time, but if I have to think back about ever...